Grant a Wish

Granted, but you get death threats through many different ways of communitaction
I wish I could move away from the sea side town I live in.

 

Granted, but you will live in a house without roof.

I wish Pokémon existed.

 

Granted but everyone else now speaks French.
I wish I was a genius.

 

I wish I had an abnormally high production of testosterone in my body. Just imagine the benefits I would have in the gymnasium. I would be able to do a linear progression on all of my lift continuously, until I would have broken every world record there are.

 

you played wrong you have to ruin a wish first like, You have abnormally high testosterone production but you can't stop moving and can't sleep. Again I wish I was a Genius

 

Granted but you're heightened intelligence leads you to the conclusion that fedoras are cool.

I wish I was a wizard.

 

Granted, but Voldemort kills you.

I wish I had 2 more wishes

 

Granted but they are lesser wishes. The most you can wish for is something equal to 40 bucks.
I wish Justin Bieber was dead.

 

Granted but he somehow managed to have a kid which turns out worse then Bieber himself.

I wish I had my own computer.

 

You get your own computer, but it malfunctions and lights you on fire.

I wish i had a goat.

 

Granted, but the goat likes to kick you in the balls

I wish I could see alternet worlds

 

Granted, but you die in all of them.

I wish I had more buds

 

Granted, but they are all not tradable.

I wish trees gave off Wi-Fi signals :]

 

Granted, but the overload of Wi-Fi somehow gives you cancer.

I wish wireless devices never ran out of battery.

 

Granted but the batteries still corrode and become useless.

I wish I had my own phone to go with my new headphones.

 

Granted but you no longer have a computer.
I wish I had a job.

 

Granted, but it is volunteer work.

I wish the Deadpool film would come out soon.

 

Granted, but Deadpool is played by Ben Affleck.
Take 2, I wish I had a paying job.

 

Granted, but you are shoveling horse shit for less than the minimum wage.

I wish Ben Affleck was good at acting.