Grant a Wish

Granted, but he moves on to a different job and Nicolas Cage is playing deadpool.
I wish I was respected.

 

Granted, but it is sarcastic.

You know, Nicolas Cage is probably mad enough to pull Deadpool off...

I wish cats would all fuck off.

 

granted but now dogs adapt and become larger cats

i wish i could not feel pain

 

Granted, But this will take a really long painful surgery (about 1 month)

I wish I had a cat that knew how to use a jetpack

 

Granted, but the cat was blind so when it used it jet pack it died!
I wish I was Babe Ruth

 

Granted but the W key will fall of every time you touch it!
I wish I had a life. lol

 

Granted, but you only preform magic that affects fish.

I wish I could be the sexiest person alive. Oh wait, I already am. I guess I wish I could know everything without the need of school and lessons.

 

Das cheating

You are Voldermort and have no nose.

I wish someone else replied to this.

 

Granted, but you are teleported into the magical world, where there is no internet, AND you can't go back to the normal world. Mind leaving me your steam account, you know, just for safekeeping.

I wish I was never sick and always fit

 

Granted but every second your not sick your dieing.

I Wish I was a admin.

 

Granted, but your skin is gone too.
I wish I had access to internet for the past week.

 

Granted, but you could only use amazon.com

I wish I was the most flawless person ever

 

Granted but you are banned from this thread forever.

I wish joe got better

 

Granted, You just got fired.
I wish I had a Burning Fed Fightin Fedora