King of the hill

I come out with the rocket jumper and shoot at you. Not knowing that it doesn't do damage, you run away in fear, as you can't w+m1 the rocket.

I rocket jump onto the hill and am confused as why you left, as I only came to conga with you.

My hill (conga only)

 

I come ah kicking up the hill. You leave in shame as you realize the kazotsky kick is way better than the conga.

My hill.

 

As you're kicking, I taunt kill you with the huntsman.

My hill.

 

As you clearly must've died from switching from soldier to sniper, I take that opportunity to run up to the hill and call it my own.

 

You get run over by a train.

I take the hill.

 

I headshot you with my amby, then take back my gibus and put it in my backpack, safe and sound.

My hill.

 

Gibus are love.
Gibus are life.

I steal your Gibus and chuck you off the hill.

My hill.

 

It's in my backpack, so you didn't steal it. You will never find my backpack, as I made decoy ones in case of robbers.

I butterknife you to death because you don't want to hurt a fellow gibus.

My hill.

 

i cut u liek a cornish gaem hen

k

 

Turns out I had the dead ringer and I backstab you. I then pick up the ammo pack and health kit.

My hill.

 

unfortunetely for you....

you notice my dead body does not have a head

surprise

my hill

 

But then you realize that you can't dead ringer out of a backstab and it turns out you imagined that.

Still my hill.

 

I use my time machine to set the time back by 6 months, and THEN I deadring.

My Hill Now

 

While you're celebrating, I taunt kill you with my knife.

My hill.

 

As you do that, a pyro behind you taunt kills you, while your dead ringer was not active.

I return in glory.

My hill.

 

Turns out the pyro was me from an alternate past and you forgot to kill it. I airblast you off a cliff and you die from fall damage.

My hill.

 

Fall damage in TF2 is ridiculously low.

While you're busy with Lecattz, I come up from behind with my powerjack and whack you over the head and push you down the hill.

My hill.

 

A powerjack whack does only 60 damage. I get a med pack and then I airblast you into the teletrap on upward (the one in the tunnel).

My hill now.

 

Unfortunetely, for you....

I grab the harpoon off harpoongaming's forums and use that to escalate myself to the top, market gardening you too.

 

But then you realize that I am the superior soldier and that market gardeners only work off of explosive-based jumps, not through long jumps, so I'm still alive.

I airblast the harpoon right back into you and you die. I grab a health kit and then I conga on the hill.

My hill.